Our ability to reach unity in diversity will be the beauty and the test of our civilization

In late October 2024, I stopped by Fins, a restaurant on Washington Street in Cape May, NJ, for a casual lunch. It was a slow, quiet Tuesday off-season—Washington Street was practically empty. I ordered a nice bottle of wine, a few appetizers like cheesesteak eggrolls, and a crab salad, spending about $200 plus tip. I enjoyed the experience, chatting with other patrons, treating a couple of ladies to a snifter of 1942, and exchanging a few words with the bartender and the young host at the stand. 

As I was preparing to leave, I passed the host stand on my way to the restroom. In what I intended as a lighthearted comment to acknowledge the slow day, I casually asked the host, “How much do you hate life right now?” He was propped up against the wall, texting, and seemingly bored out of his mind. I thought I was empathizing with his situation—dead day, nothing to do, just passing time. But immediately, he asked me to “step away,” as if I’d done something offensive. Surprised, I stepped back and apologized, genuinely taken aback by his reaction. I figured he had misheard my comment, so I tried to clarify as I left. This only seemed to aggravate him further, leading to an unpleasant exchange where he accused me of racially motivated aggression.

After exiting, I called the police to report the incident, explaining that I hadn’t intended any harm and that the interaction had gone awry. To my dismay, what unfolded afterward only made things worse. The host, the bartender, two supposed witnesses, and even the manager on duty doubled down, fabricating a story in a police report—Cape May Case #24-13325. According to them, I’d been drunk, high, and racially aggressive, none of which was remotely true. The report portrayed a twisted version of the events, backed by multiple false witness statements.

This entire incident highlights a troubling pattern. Here was a young man, likely given an opportunity to work in a relaxed environment on a slow day, and my offhand attempt to connect with him was somehow twisted into an accusation of racial aggression. It felt like he was carrying a chip on his shoulder—a sense of entitlement and an expectation of offense. And unfortunately, his reaction spiraled into a full-scale attack on my character, bolstered by others who seemed all too eager to escalate the situation.

Since then, I have filed an IAD complaint with the Cape May Police Department, noting the inaccuracies in their handling of the situation. The police report, currently locked up pending the complaint's resolution, misrepresents the incident. I encourage anyone interested to review the case when it becomes publicly available. Read the so-called “witness” statements, and then listen to the actual recorded interaction. The stark difference reveals just how easily situations like these can spiral, fueled by assumptions and unfounded biases. 

In an age where genuine connection and understanding are rare, I find it disappointing that even a simple, empathetic comment can turn into an accusation of racism. Experiences like this—where a benign interaction becomes a weapon for social grievance—are, sadly, becoming far too common.

Cape May Incident: Hostile Encounter Escalates with Police Involvement

The incident took a surprising turn after I attempted to resolve the misunderstanding directly with Fins' management. Following the initial encounter, I made three calls to the restaurant to discuss what had happened. The first two calls went unanswered, presumably by the same host who had just accosted me. On my third attempt, using a different phone number, I finally reached someone—but what followed was unexpected.

The clip below continues from the initial recording, capturing the complete interaction as it unfolded. This includes my calls to the restaurant and my encounter with the Cape May Police when I requested their assistance in documenting what had just happened. Rather than offering support, however, the police seemed to turn the tables on me. In this recording, you’ll hear Officers #58, Patrolman Denham, and #60, Patrolman Nickerson, handling the situation in a way that raises questions. 

My intention was simply to put on record what had happened. Instead, I experienced stonewalling from the police and management, a concerning response given the role of law enforcement to protect and serve. In this context, you can decide for yourself: was my approach reasonable, or did the system fail to listen to the facts?

Cape May Incident: A Reflection on Bias and Divisive Hostility

During a recent visit to Fins in Cape May, NJ, I encountered an interaction that has left me questioning the depth of bias in today’s society. I went into the restaurant for a casual lunch, enjoying good food, conversation with other patrons, and a relaxed atmosphere. Toward the end of my visit, I walked by the host stand and, noticing the young host leaned against the wall on his phone, asked him a lighthearted question: “How much do you hate life right now?” My intention was empathy—a simple way of acknowledging the monotony of his quiet shift. But his response was swift and unexpectedly hostile, accusing me of harassment. I immediately stepped away, apologized, and made my way out of the restaurant. However, on my way out, I mentioned that he must have misunderstood me. He doubled down, accusing me even more aggressively. 

After leaving the restaurant, I tried calling Fins management three times to clarify the situation. On the third call, I used a different phone number, and someone finally picked up, but the issue wasn’t resolved. Wanting to ensure there was an official record, I called the Cape May police to document what had just happened, hoping they might offer a balanced perspective.

The police response, however, surprised me. From the outset, the officers seemed confrontational, turning what should have been a simple documentation request into a litany of accusations against me. The officers, particularly Patrolmen Denham and Nickerson, arrived with a preconceived tone. They accused me of being drunk, irate, and high—none of which was true. As I attempted to clarify my side of the story, they repeatedly interrupted, refusing to hear me out. I expressed my frustration and asked to speak to the Captain or Chief, but was met with mockery, told they wouldn’t entertain my account, and ultimately dismissed outright.

It’s unsettling to consider why they approached me with such hostility, but I have my suspicions. I left that conversation with an undeniable sense that the tables were turned due to assumptions about my skin color. The young man who initially confronted me has since been verified as having a history of anti-white posts on social media. Maybe he has reasons for holding those views. Maybe he doesn’t. But from where I stood, this was a simple misunderstanding that escalated into hostility based on preconceived notions about who I am. This encounter was less about the specifics of what was said and more about the broader, deeply rooted divides in our society.

As unsettling as this is, the incident serves as a reminder of how divided we’ve become. The way the police reacted—with an immediate bias and lack of willingness to hear me—speaks volumes. This isn’t just about a single interaction; it’s a reflection of a larger, disheartening trend where judgments are formed before facts are even considered. Imagine yourself in my shoes. I called the police, fully believing that I would be treated with fairness and respect. Instead, I walked away from that encounter questioning how deeply this divide runs in our communities.