Dear Heather...
Heather,
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I would say if I could go back to that New Year’s Eve in 2020. That night was meant to be a celebration for us—a long-overdue chance to enjoy each other’s company after a year of working nonstop. It was your birthday, our first real chance to be together without work pulling me in every direction. Instead, what should have been a beautiful night was overshadowed by something I didn’t expect, something I wasn’t prepared to handle.
That evening, as I was on my way to pick you up, I was fired, with no warning. I was broken and blindsided. That firing was harsh, deliberate, and cut deeply, with a level of cruelty that, in hindsight, I know Joseph planned. I remember Bret stopping me, his expression giving away what he knew was coming, and then the call with Joseph that ended everything. I had poured so much of myself into that role, into that club—working tirelessly, trying to make it succeed during a year when everything was against us. And then, in one moment, it was all over.
I took those feelings with me to Atlantic City, and I poured alcohol on top of the pain. I said things that night I shouldn’t have, things that came from a place of hurt and anger, not from the love I felt for you. I was dealing with layers of resentment and betrayal, anger at Mamee, Joseph, and everything that had piled on over the years. But none of that should have touched you, and I can only imagine how difficult it was to see me that way. I’m sorry for putting that on you.
The pain and confusion of that firing changed me in ways I didn’t realize at the time. It impacted us, adding strain where there should have been trust and closeness. Instead of being able to explain everything I was feeling, I know I put up walls and became harder to reach. I struggled, and it affected you, us—everything we had built.
Since then, life’s taken me down a road I wouldn’t have chosen, but I know that doesn’t excuse what I put you through. I owe you this apology because, despite everything, I still carry the weight of what my actions cost us. You deserved to be treated better, and you deserved to have the man you fell in love with that night, not the one clouded by bitterness and loss. If you read this, please know how truly sorry I am. None of this should have happened, but above all, I’m sorry for the impact it had on you.
Take care, Heather. I hope you find happiness and peace, always.
With all my apologies,
Jason
